The full moon and lunar eclipse this month is in Aries. It will bring up some deep emotional habits and behaviors, that we may or may not be aware of. Since reading this information, I’ve been curiously asking myself what would those be for me???
Well aware that self-work and spiritual/evolutional transformation is an everlasting club that we all belong to and cannot quit. It’s like trying to get out of the mob. Impossible! But in a good way. 😉
I’ve been married. Once. I learned a great deal from that man, and am very thankful for the lessons I learned while with him. Going through the divorce, I learned even more about myself, and eventually, exactly what I am looking for in my next partner. In fact, not next, but my LIFE partner. My equal. Passionate soulmate in this lifetime.
Some of you know, that I had pretty intense relations with a guy in the beginning of this year. The story is much longer than just that, and too much to get into at this time. In the end, he resides in another country and it eventually became very apparent that it was not our time. It was the first time in years that I felt immense, unconditional love for someone that was not in my family or a close friend. It was very exciting for me to feel this!!! Let me be very clear, it was not him that caused me to feel this. It meant that I had FINALLY learned to love myself soooooo unconditionally that it was pouring out of me, and I was ready to share that with another.
One of my biggest, and probably the human race’s biggest, issues was/is codependency. And you name it on what; alcohol, drugs, television, people. I was very codependent on other things making me feel good about myself. Alcohol, drugs, and mostly the men I dated. I had to hear how beautiful I am. Constantly be reassured. Given gifts of materialism that I thought were important and would make me feel good, or feel worthy.
For many years, on the outside, I radiated confidence! Thanks to my ego, which after all, is there for our protection. However, behind closed doors, I was nothing more than a small child living in fear.
Thanks to the help of many beautiful Souls, Angels, and my Adult Self, that little girl is healed and living in love and light instead of fear. I am 100% filled up with my own love!
There is still something I feel I need to release though. Asking the universe for what that is. Asking for clarity. Is there something I am missing? Why haven’t I met my partner yet? Is it simply not time yet? Or is there still some deeper work that I’ve overlooked??
Arrived in Santa Teresa today on the Nicoya Penninsula. Get to attend a full moon ritual tomorrow night with some of my favorite souls, and my first mentor! Whatever is stirring in me, is surely to be revealed.
Let’s see how tomorrow’s moon responds.
Hugs and love,